Which divorce process is right for you and your spouse?

As a counselor and divorce coach, I’ve guided countless couples through one of life’s most challenging family transitions – divorce or separation.

When children are involved, I strongly encourage parents to consider collaborative divorce or mediation, both consensual dispute resolution processes. These approaches typically result in less emotional trauma and can support parents in developing effective and positive co-parenting relationships.

I’ve witnessed how children benefit when their parents can work together, even during separation and divorce. Children are resilient, and benefit from parents who avoid catastrophizing divorce, and are able to put their children’s emotional well-being at the forefront of their divorce process. This takes an ability and willingness to problem solve, rather than place blame.

Collaborative divorce emphasizes problem-solving rather than confrontation or blame. In this approach, each spouse has an attorney, a communications coach, or they may hire one neutral family specialist who helps both spouses with communication and emotion regulation. We work together as a team, often including a neutral financial expert and other adjunct professionals as needed, such as realtors, mortgage brokers, and business evaluators. 

Divorce mediation is another excellent choice that I frequently recommend to couples who want to maintain control over their decisions but need help navigating disagreements. A mediator acts as a neutral third party to help couples find common ground and reach mutually satisfactory agreements. This process typically costs less than traditional representation, also known as “litigation”, is voluntary, and private.

Traditional representation is a process that is necessary in certain cases. When there is a need for external control, such as a court system, this process can be a better choice, as mediation or collaborative divorce are voluntary and require active and good will participation. The traditional representation process is often adversarial, with little consideration for the family as a whole. The emphasis on winning can drain both emotions and finances, leading to litigious battles and high legal fees.

Remember, your emotional well-being matters tremendously during this process. Your chosen path should align with your circumstances, communication abilities, and future goals.

Ann Cerney, of Cerney Coaching, is a licensed therapist specializing in mediation, divorce coaching, couple therapy, co-parenting counseling and divorcing without getting the courts involved.

With a focus on child-centered solutions, Ann collaborates closely with families to create seamless parenting plans. As a divorce coach, she facilitates deep conversations with individuals seeking recovery and a better post-divorce life, encouraging them to envision a meaningful future. Contact Cerney Coaching today!

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or mental health advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, mental health or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.